Why fashion means so much to me.

 From third grade to ninth grade i was afraid to dress like me. I dressed like the crowd and i hid myself among the others. I don't know how many times i bought something i absolutely loved but i never left the house in it because I was afraid. I was afraid of judgement and I was afraid of bullies. I was completely hidden in the crowd. I remember so clearly standing in front of the mirror, wearing something I adored and then taking it off because I was scared they might think it was weird.
 When I was eight I told my best friend I had decided to become cool. That was the exact moment I stopped dressing for me and started dressing for others. I kept myself at the back of my mind for over seven years but silently adored and admired people that were brave enough to stand out. I tried everything humanly possible to fit in at the time, I was so shy that even wearing my hair a different way than a ponytail was way too scary for me. Literally.
 Clothes haven't always meant much for me. They used to be something distant, something that was always out of reach. But when I think about it, fashion has always been at the back of my mind. I've had opinions on outfits since I was twelve and I've always dreamed about being one of those pretty girls in a stunning, expensive outfit.
 This summer I really took time off to increase my confidence and focusing on who I wanted to be so when I got back to school this fall I was ready for changes. You can't imagine the feeling you get when you start dressing for yourself, like you've always dreamed of. For the first time in my life I could look in the mirror and actually like my outfit! It was literally life changing! It really hit me how fashion is such an important part of expressing ourselves and that's so important to me. I've always been shy but when I discovered fashion and how I could be a part of it, everything changed. Now I'm able to tell people who I am before they even talk to me. I am what I wear and I try my best to let my outfits reflect my personality. For example I tend to wear black when I'm tired, when I'm happy I put on a dress and when i'm sad you can find me hiding inside a huge sweater.
 Clothes are so important to me and I doubt people take me seriously when I tell them that but to be honest I don't really care. I'm not dressing myself for you. I'm dressing myself for my own pleasure and if I want to wear a fur coat to school I fucking will. I'm done with obsessing over other peoples opinions and I've started obsessing over the Spring'14 Couture collections but that's a post I'm saving for next week.

Punk hugs
Maria